Poor yogurt lady, She has no idea I keep harping on her, but surprisingly, I learned a few things from her. (By the way, that’s an olive branch…I’m extending it.) If you have no idea who I’m talking about, click here, for the juicy details about our grocery store mishap. Okay, here’s what I learned:
- There are people out there who still believe that “children should be seen and not heard”. Thank you funky mama bird for nailing that one on the head. Unfortunately, I suspect yogurt lady is not alone. I realize my kids and I must co-exist with those who feel this way. So I say to them: ” I will try to do my best “. I hope you will too.
- Respect is a two way street. It is my job as the parent to teach and give my children respect. It’s also important that I model respect. I think I could have done a better job in this scenario with yogurt lady. I want my children to respect adults and their peers but I also want them to be courageous enough to respectfully speak up for themselves when necessary. This is what I could have said, ” I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were bothering you, just trying to get the shopping done (insert forced smile)”. You know, kill ’em with kindness.
- And finally, I realize there will always be someone out there judging my parenting skills. It’s inevitable. All I can do is learn from it, keep my head up, and move on. So…I’m officially moving on yogurt lady. It’s been real.
My Friday Follow-up Tidbits:
- Here’s an article I came across about the importance of changing the belief that “children should be seen and not heard” : Child Friendly Culture by Hayley Nichols.
- I’ll leave you with a short but succinct description about What Discipline Really Means, by Dr. Sears: “In a nutshell, discipline means giving your children the tools to succeed in life. It means having the right relationship with your children, rather than practicing the right techniques.”
Have a wonderful Friday and a safe and Happy 4th of July!
It's always a fine line to walk between encouraging my kids to be polite and use manners and wanting them to be who they really are.
Great ending quote!
It's always a fine line to walk between encouraging my kids to be polite and use manners and wanting them to be who they really are.
Great ending quote!
that's impressive. i would have probably harbored a grudge against yogurt lady for at least one lifetime. but you're right….there are better ways to handle people who we think are being unreasonable and there will always be those who are going to question the way we do things as parents. i'm guilty of doing it to others….maybe not so vocally, but i might have a dialogue in my head about what someone else should be doing with their kids. my mission today is to be more understanding of others and to try and set a good example for my children on how to react in situations (heck…i'll make it my mission for more than just today!).
Wow, that is a great quote by Dr. Sears!
All kids loose it at some point shopping. The other day Ellie stood in the Dollar Spot at Target and screamed at the top of her lungs, “BUT I WANT A TOY!!!!!!!!” I wanted to die of embarassment and could feel the eyes burning into my back. 99% of the time Ellie is a great shopper but I know everyone that saw her in that moment was going to assume she was a total brat.
So you're right, people are always going to be judging but they don't know the whole story. They don't know how amazing your kid is and that's their loss!
I think she must have been having a tough day. I hope choosing a yogurt wasn't that difficult for her when she had complete quiet.
Don't you wish you could have said, “Well, what you've just said is annoying, too.” I guess the most frustrating thing for you is that he wasn't doing anything wrong – except being happy and being a kid! I remember many comments over the years with my children that we laugh about now. But when you're going through it, it's not so easy to laugh.
Don't you wish you could have said, “Well, what you've just said is annoying, too.” I guess the most frustrating thing for you is that he wasn't doing anything wrong – except being happy and being a kid! I remember many comments over the years with my children that we laugh about now. But when you're going through it, it's not so easy to laugh.
can you teach my in-laws respect? anyone, anyone?
Have a great holiday weekend!
can you teach my in-laws respect? anyone, anyone?
Have a great holiday weekend!
Bless your heart! I LOVE the positive outlook on a very uncomfortable situation. I do agree with what you said. But also, I think that you showed your little boy that Mama has got his back. That is something that will give him security as he learns how to defend himself… and others. I applaud you!! And Liz… that comment above… LOL. Funny.
Bless your heart! I LOVE the positive outlook on a very uncomfortable situation. I do agree with what you said. But also, I think that you showed your little boy that Mama has got his back. That is something that will give him security as he learns how to defend himself… and others. I applaud you!! And Liz… that comment above… LOL. Funny.
Poor, poor yogurt lady. LOL! :p
http://lambaround.blogspot.com
Poor, poor yogurt lady. LOL! :p
http://lambaround.blogspot.com
Great post. I found your blog via SITS, so Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest. Parenting is not an easy task, but I am so glad that I have been blessed with two children.
Great post. I found your blog via SITS, so Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest. Parenting is not an easy task, but I am so glad that I have been blessed with two children.
I get very aggressive whenever someone says anything to my kids in the store. I bit a woman's head off for telling my 4 year old at the time to pick what she dropped up. Like I wasn't going to make her. I was watching and said to the lady, “I got it, no need to tell my kid what to do.”
Unless they're crying hysterically or screaming, like you said…I'm okay with kid sounds….it's lively and makes us realize what they as kids can teach us:) xoxo
I get very aggressive whenever someone says anything to my kids in the store. I bit a woman's head off for telling my 4 year old at the time to pick what she dropped up. Like I wasn't going to make her. I was watching and said to the lady, “I got it, no need to tell my kid what to do.”
Unless they're crying hysterically or screaming, like you said…I'm okay with kid sounds….it's lively and makes us realize what they as kids can teach us:) xoxo
Okay, I LOVE your blog! I am visiting via Lady Bloggers Tea Party. So glad I found you! I'm your newest follower.
Okay, I LOVE your blog! I am visiting via Lady Bloggers Tea Party. So glad I found you! I'm your newest follower.
You have a great blog. I enjoyed reading about yogurt lady.
I found your blog through the Lady Bloggers Tea Party.
You have a great blog. I enjoyed reading about yogurt lady.
I found your blog through the Lady Bloggers Tea Party.
You have a bit more restraint than I do. But I have mastered the art of the “I think you are a horrible person withering stare,” which usually results in the recipient shrinking back in amazement at my skill. So I suppose I probably wouldn't have said anything, just stared her into submission.
It's always bothered me that kids are supposed to be seen and not heard. That's so 1800's. They are children trying to learn how to get along in the world for God's sake. But you know as much as I do that children are undervalued not only in our society but around the world. I just wish that people could remember what it felt like to be a dependant, helpless, confused child and I'd bet this attitude would go away.
xo Erin
You have a bit more restraint than I do. But I have mastered the art of the “I think you are a horrible person withering stare,” which usually results in the recipient shrinking back in amazement at my skill. So I suppose I probably wouldn't have said anything, just stared her into submission.
It's always bothered me that kids are supposed to be seen and not heard. That's so 1800's. They are children trying to learn how to get along in the world for God's sake. But you know as much as I do that children are undervalued not only in our society but around the world. I just wish that people could remember what it felt like to be a dependant, helpless, confused child and I'd bet this attitude would go away.
xo Erin
I like what you say about respecting other people but also knowing when and how to stand up for yourself too. Sometimes these “teachable moments” for our kids are stressful (like the yogurt lady encounter), and then it's hard to maintain composure/ideals.
Oh Dr. Sears.. how I love thee!
It is a bizarre time to raise kids… there are such extremes of what ppl believe now-a-days! One side seems to think kids should never say a world in public.. the other thinks their kids should be able to “express themselves” however they see fit.. no matter who's around. I definitely see a lot of middle ground here!
I am right there with you – it is a very tricky thing to teach kids respect for others.. yet also teach them to have respect for themselves and not allow someone to bully you. No matter how old they are. Tough lesson!
Oh Dr. Sears.. how I love thee!
It is a bizarre time to raise kids… there are such extremes of what ppl believe now-a-days! One side seems to think kids should never say a world in public.. the other thinks their kids should be able to “express themselves” however they see fit.. no matter who's around. I definitely see a lot of middle ground here!
I am right there with you – it is a very tricky thing to teach kids respect for others.. yet also teach them to have respect for themselves and not allow someone to bully you. No matter how old they are. Tough lesson!
It is such a fine line, isn't it? Between being respectful and standing up for yourself. This parenting stuff is HARD.
It is such a fine line, isn't it? Between being respectful and standing up for yourself. This parenting stuff is HARD.
Yeah, that's a tightrope. I hope Yogurt Lady learns to walk it too. Did you notice what kind of yogurt she was buying, by the way? If it was that Activia stuff, that may be a clue as to why she was so grumpy.
Yeah, that's a tightrope. I hope Yogurt Lady learns to walk it too. Did you notice what kind of yogurt she was buying, by the way? If it was that Activia stuff, that may be a clue as to why she was so grumpy.
Your blog made me smile and realize just how little tact I have…LOL
I had a similar experience when my boys were young and rambunctous (4 & 6) – Only I wasn't having a great day and let her have it with both barrels of one sarcastic NY mother.
I've since tried to instill a “take a deep breath and count to 10 to clear your head” approach with the kids hoping they won't be as high strung as I am – not sure if it's working, but I think I scared the woman into not shopping at that store again!
Good for you and your patience.
Your blog made me smile and realize just how little tact I have…LOL
I had a similar experience when my boys were young and rambunctous (4 & 6) – Only I wasn't having a great day and let her have it with both barrels of one sarcastic NY mother.
I've since tried to instill a “take a deep breath and count to 10 to clear your head” approach with the kids hoping they won't be as high strung as I am – not sure if it's working, but I think I scared the woman into not shopping at that store again!
Good for you and your patience.
I'm ashamed to admit that, before I had kids, I was probably one of the ones that might have given a dirty look or inwardly shook my head at the public antics of someone else's child. It wasn't until I had my own that I finally understood and got it. I try to keep that in mind when I get looks or rare comments from someone else.
Great sentiments… I loved this post (and the original Yogurt Lady entry, too).
OK, so you definitely DID understand my ThetaMom post about judging other situations and not caring about what people have to say about my parenting!
Get this, I just visited another blogger who said she got some obnoxious ANONYMOUS, of course, comments on a post similar to this that says that kids need to be put in their place! No matter what, put in their place. Really? And another said that even if a kid has AUTISM, if they have a tantrum at the age of 8 or older she WILL judge. What's wrong with people??? The either don't have kids or really did put their kids in their place so much that they lost their personality.
OK, so you definitely DID understand my ThetaMom post about judging other situations and not caring about what people have to say about my parenting!
Get this, I just visited another blogger who said she got some obnoxious ANONYMOUS, of course, comments on a post similar to this that says that kids need to be put in their place! No matter what, put in their place. Really? And another said that even if a kid has AUTISM, if they have a tantrum at the age of 8 or older she WILL judge. What's wrong with people??? The either don't have kids or really did put their kids in their place so much that they lost their personality.