I’m so excited and honored to have Dalia from Generation X Mom here today. If you have yet to discover Dalia’s gem of a blog, I encourage you to check it out today. Her blog is more like a forum. She seems to have her finger on the pulse of parenting hot topics and she doesn’t shy away from them. One visit to her site and you will see what I’m talking about. I love her blog and I’m sure you will too.
Today she’s talking birthday parties and reminiscing about the simpler days. Enjoy…and in her words “make your opinions heard”.
My four year old attended a birthday party not too long ago. She had a total blast. It was at one of those bouncy places where the kids run all over the place, get lost, moms go frantic looking for them, and then they come home having diarrhea the next day because of all the germs they ingested. Nope, not one of my favorite places. But, of course my daughter loved it.
Of course I realize that this is the “thing” to do, having birthday parties at these places, spending a fortune on goodie bags, and inviting all kinds of kids. And, I will admit I had “place” birthday parties once or twice with my first child.
But really, think about it. Did we ever have parties like that growing up? My birthday parties consisted of inviting over maybe eight or so friends, setting up a birthday party table with cups of candy, eating pizza, playing a couple of games, and having cake. And you know what, I loved it!
I think we are setting the expectations high for our kids these days. We are keeping up with the Jones’s and doing what “we are supposed to do”. What if we started them out with lower expectations? It doesn’t mean that these are bad expectations, just toned down a bit. Starting out so big means they expect bigger all the time. It means that something smaller won’t be as fun to them. What is there to look forward to?
A few years back I stopped having the big ‘invite every kid and find the most popular place’ kid party and started doing things on a much smaller scale. My kids have grown to love these parties. I want my kids to appreciate the simpleness of a birthday party and the fun of spending that time with their closest friends instead of a whole bouncy place full of people running wild. Just imagine what they have to look forward to!
What kinds of parties do you have for your kids?
yeah my sons first birthday party included in home professional musical entertainment… oh dear!
yeah my sons first birthday party included in home professional musical entertainment… oh dear!
My baby will be six tomorrow:) i think we're going to the water park:) xoxo
My baby will be six tomorrow:) i think we're going to the water park:) xoxo
Honestly? It would have been so much easier to have E's 3rd bday party at a local childrens' museum than how we did it at our house. The party at our house was awesome, but it was more expensive and a ton more work that having it out!
Great topic!
My kids have never had a “place” party. They are allowed to have a party every other year. (On the off years, they get a special date with just Mom and Dad.) I do a theme birthday party for them. We've had a Star Wars party, super hero party, dinosaur party, movie theater party, etc. I can do all these for less than fifty bucks, (quite a bit less, actually), and the kids love it. Especially after that movie theater party. I was the cool mom.
Hey! Nominated you for a blog award! http://somebodysparents.blogspot.com/ Enjoy!
Hey! Nominated you for a blog award! http://somebodysparents.blogspot.com/ Enjoy!
I do that very same thing! Every year, I come up with a new and clever way of celebrating my daughter's birthday and nothing is ever repeated.
I had a sleepover with three of her favorite friends. We did individual cakes and a fashion show and a scrapbook with the whole thing. We printed out the pictures they wanted and they added it to their scrapbooks.
Another year, we did the park so we did all outdoor games.
Last year we did an airbrush party so everyone had to bring their own t-shirt and have it designed to their liking. They loved it.
She'll be 11 this year, so I'm running out of ideas! Any suggestions?
I do that very same thing! Every year, I come up with a new and clever way of celebrating my daughter's birthday and nothing is ever repeated.
I had a sleepover with three of her favorite friends. We did individual cakes and a fashion show and a scrapbook with the whole thing. We printed out the pictures they wanted and they added it to their scrapbooks.
Another year, we did the park so we did all outdoor games.
Last year we did an airbrush party so everyone had to bring their own t-shirt and have it designed to their liking. They loved it.
She'll be 11 this year, so I'm running out of ideas! Any suggestions?
My son's first birthday was a bash, with catered food and a ton of people. His second was a family gathering at home. His third was cupcakes at pre-school. His fourth may just be one cupcake at the breakfast table, no candle. LOL.
I agree with you on this. I think birthday parties, just like Christmas, can be overkill. I find it nicer to focus on what we are actually celebrating rather than on all the other stuff.
My son's first birthday was a bash, with catered food and a ton of people. His second was a family gathering at home. His third was cupcakes at pre-school. His fourth may just be one cupcake at the breakfast table, no candle. LOL.
I agree with you on this. I think birthday parties, just like Christmas, can be overkill. I find it nicer to focus on what we are actually celebrating rather than on all the other stuff.
Hi!! Thanks for following! I will stop by the Gen X Mom blog and see whats up over there. I like reading feature Blogs.
Hi!! Thanks for following! I will stop by the Gen X Mom blog and see whats up over there. I like reading feature Blogs.
Growing up my birthday consisted of having my cousins and a few friends for cake and ice cream. My kids are getting pretty much the same. I always loved my birthdays I don't see why their birthdays should be any different.
Growing up my birthday consisted of having my cousins and a few friends for cake and ice cream. My kids are getting pretty much the same. I always loved my birthdays I don't see why their birthdays should be any different.
do it simple with parties and every year on/off is when the kids can have friends over. The only big party was a joint party and bounce house here.
I'm all about making it easy for me
do it simple with parties and every year on/off is when the kids can have friends over. The only big party was a joint party and bounce house here.
I'm all about making it easy for me
Finally, a voice of reason in the ever-escalating party expectations. My husband and I have this same debate four times a year (four kids). It can be so tempting to throw the elaborate parties that others do, but we both are too frugal.
In the past I have tried to have parties with activities that are more inexpensive, like swimming at the local pool or having the party at a playground.
This year, we are going on an overnight trip to NYC for my son's & daughter's birthdays (two days in a row).
Finally, a voice of reason in the ever-escalating party expectations. My husband and I have this same debate four times a year (four kids). It can be so tempting to throw the elaborate parties that others do, but we both are too frugal.
In the past I have tried to have parties with activities that are more inexpensive, like swimming at the local pool or having the party at a playground.
This year, we are going on an overnight trip to NYC for my son's & daughter's birthdays (two days in a row).
I think schools have made a mess of this by having rules about inviting the whole class. I had to perform a covert operation to get invites to the parents of specific kids so I wouldn't have to invite the whole preschool. It was weird especially since not all of the kids went on the same days. Some didn't even know my daughter.
I'm all about keeping a lid on things and for turning 5 she only had the family party. I'm thinking maybe the friend party comes every other year? I'll let you know.
Mungee's 1st birthday is coming up. We're having a party at our house and inviting her baby friends. We'll have pizza, chips, pretzels, cake and ice cream. I think this party is more for me and DH than Mungee since she won't remember it. Maybe we'll do a bigger party when she's a little older, but I certainly don't want her to grow to expect an all out bash every year.
What a great post, Dalia! (And Dr. Mom!) And one that just this year I've thought a great deal about. Due to a hectic summer schedule (and our family bank account), I opted out of a “friend” party for my recently turned 7 year old. Instead, we had 2 friends over for a movie night with PJ's, Popcorn and Pillow fights. It was a great time, and my daughter really appreciated this small gathering rather than a larger party at a party place. We're going to stick with this tradition from now on!
What a great post, Dalia! (And Dr. Mom!) And one that just this year I've thought a great deal about. Due to a hectic summer schedule (and our family bank account), I opted out of a “friend” party for my recently turned 7 year old. Instead, we had 2 friends over for a movie night with PJ's, Popcorn and Pillow fights. It was a great time, and my daughter really appreciated this small gathering rather than a larger party at a party place. We're going to stick with this tradition from now on!
I did a snarky (surprise) post about this very topic a few months ago. it's just gotten out of hand. Less is more. I do most of the stuff myself now, keep the kid count down and try to do the party at home. My son was THRILLED for his 7th birthday to have 4 friends sleepover. They swam, we made homemade pizzas with chef hats and I made his cake and we did a clue hunt in the yard. Best.party.ever.
I did a snarky (surprise) post about this very topic a few months ago. it's just gotten out of hand. Less is more. I do most of the stuff myself now, keep the kid count down and try to do the party at home. My son was THRILLED for his 7th birthday to have 4 friends sleepover. They swam, we made homemade pizzas with chef hats and I made his cake and we did a clue hunt in the yard. Best.party.ever.
Wow! I love all the ideas here and I'm loving the creativity. I think that's the problem with me, not so creative so I end up wanting to have it somewhere else where it's all planned out. I'm starting to like the more intimate settings and I bet the children remember it more:) Thanks everyone for sharing your birthday party stories and Thanks Dalia for such a great post!
Wow! I love all the ideas here and I'm loving the creativity. I think that's the problem with me, not so creative so I end up wanting to have it somewhere else where it's all planned out. I'm starting to like the more intimate settings and I bet the children remember it more:) Thanks everyone for sharing your birthday party stories and Thanks Dalia for such a great post!
Luck you, scoring Dalia. I think she is all kinds of awesome. I really like here. ANd ,you, too.
Glad you started blogging..
Luck you, scoring Dalia. I think she is all kinds of awesome. I really like here. ANd ,you, too.
Glad you started blogging..
I just love your topics! I couldn't agree with you more on this one. My birthday parties (in the 80's…) were the same. I think one year we had a pinata, but that was a special treat. I just went to a two year-old's birthday party where the parents had a petting zoo come to the house. It was cute, but unfortunately, at age two, the toddlers weren't even interested in the animals. I know my little Lewie still doesn't know what the term “gentle” means, and I had to make sure he didn't step on or “hit” the animals(by accident, of course). We need to start teaching our children, like you said, the values of family, friendship, and appreciating the simple things. Trust me, I meet with “entitled” teenagers/twenty year-olds in college all the time that act like the world owes them something. We don't want our children to turn out like this!
I'm shuddering with horror over the party expectations. I absolutely cringe when it's kid-party time. I know kids in my child's class who have birthday parties EVERY SINGLE YEAR and they are Major Events.
When I was a kid, parties were a once or twice event, at most, and were the cake & ice cream at home with a few classmates and party games like “drop the clothespin in the bottle” stuff.
Please, please, please – tone it down!!!!! Not saying we have to revert to Pin the tail on the Donkey, but does every single birthday have to become an Event?
I'm shuddering with horror over the party expectations. I absolutely cringe when it's kid-party time. I know kids in my child's class who have birthday parties EVERY SINGLE YEAR and they are Major Events.
When I was a kid, parties were a once or twice event, at most, and were the cake & ice cream at home with a few classmates and party games like “drop the clothespin in the bottle” stuff.
Please, please, please – tone it down!!!!! Not saying we have to revert to Pin the tail on the Donkey, but does every single birthday have to become an Event?
I have three daughters and have always had “at home” birthday parties. We really go all out with themes. My eldest, when she was eight loved to paint. We the kids arrived we told them we were having an art show, but someone stole all the paintings in the gallery, and we only had a few hours to get the gallery (our hallway) ready for the show. They were given kerchiefs to wear and we rolled out long pieced of craft paper to paint on. We had about five girls so it was manageable. The cake was an artists paint tray. It was so much fun. Every birthday party has been that way, and I have never had more than five attendees, and they have always been in our home. Good old fashioned fun.
Dana
Thanks Melissa for sharing my view on the 'kid party'. Lots of good opinions here! I am holding off as long as I can with my little one's parties for now. We just had her 5th and had a bunch of family over. She was so excited since the day was all about her. My feeling is if we don't start it or make an issue out of it, the expectations won't be there. Be real and your kids will be real too.
Thanks Melissa for sharing my view on the 'kid party'. Lots of good opinions here! I am holding off as long as I can with my little one's parties for now. We just had her 5th and had a bunch of family over. She was so excited since the day was all about her. My feeling is if we don't start it or make an issue out of it, the expectations won't be there. Be real and your kids will be real too.
Thanks Melissa and Dalia for getting this said! While some of us may have the means to really go overboard with kids' birthday parties, I'm trying to reserve the big ones for big milestone birthdays (1, 5, 10, 16 and 18 in my book). We have a nice backyard with lots of space. The birthdays are September and May – nice weather months for the most part. I try to do something special like make a theme cake myself based off what the kids might like, then plan games/activities around the theme. It's low key, low cost, and laid back. I have two years yet to the first 5th birthday, and I've yet to decide how we'll do it. But the kids will be able to participate in that decision and I'm hoping we can choose something together that doesn't a) set future expectations too high, or b) cost an arm and a leg.
Thanks Melissa and Dalia for getting this said! While some of us may have the means to really go overboard with kids' birthday parties, I'm trying to reserve the big ones for big milestone birthdays (1, 5, 10, 16 and 18 in my book). We have a nice backyard with lots of space. The birthdays are September and May – nice weather months for the most part. I try to do something special like make a theme cake myself based off what the kids might like, then plan games/activities around the theme. It's low key, low cost, and laid back. I have two years yet to the first 5th birthday, and I've yet to decide how we'll do it. But the kids will be able to participate in that decision and I'm hoping we can choose something together that doesn't a) set future expectations too high, or b) cost an arm and a leg.
Yea, we only do the invite a couple of friends, have family come too and everyone bring a dish to share type of party. There aren't even games, just food, cake, and a back yard full of bicycles, hula hoops, swing set, sand box, kid sized rakes and shovels….and the kids have a blast…..
And I think you're right…too many people are trying to keep up with the Jones…in fact, I think people these days are trying to OUTDO the Jones. That's sad.
Yea, we only do the invite a couple of friends, have family come too and everyone bring a dish to share type of party. There aren't even games, just food, cake, and a back yard full of bicycles, hula hoops, swing set, sand box, kid sized rakes and shovels….and the kids have a blast…..
And I think you're right…too many people are trying to keep up with the Jones…in fact, I think people these days are trying to OUTDO the Jones. That's sad.