There are no guarantees in parenting, are there?
As I reflect on my most recent post, tears swiftly come to the surface. I’m still filled with self doubt, guilt, and worry about how I reacted to my darling boy’s honest admissions.
Tiny infractions by my six year old that filled me with so many conflicting emotions.
I often wonder in situations like these if I’m too harsh, too lenient, too something. I worry that I haven’t got it quite right. Worse yet, I don’t think I’ll ever have that answer. It’s this uncertainty in parenting that is truly hard to swallow.
I guess this was the moment I realized that our (me and my husband) window of opportunity to impress upon him the values we consider important, is a relatively small window and it may not be open forever.
So I feel the pressure…to get it “right”.
However, it’s summer, and amid my self-doubt and uncertainty, I’m making a promise to myself to savor this summer.
This is the summer of Little Sister being three. The summer she hopes to spot a rainbow butterfly, search for seashells, and make endless sandcastles.
It’s the summer of Big Brother being six. He has the first year of kindergarten behind him and already refers to himself as a first grader. He anticipates our family vacation with contagious excitement. He wants to jump waves that crash on the shore, take a train to Colorado, and try his hand at fishing.
So while I may never know if I’m getting this parenting gig right, at least I’ll have this summer to look back on and know, at the very least, that I got some moments right.
What do you hope to savor this summer? Do you feel as uncertain as me at times in this parenting adventure?
I'm the first to admit to my daughter if I feel I over-reacted to something. I tell her what caused the reaction–the bigger picture. I'm also the first to admit I'm not perfect. I think it's great to model to your kids that we ALL make mistakes! We'll never know if whatever we do we'll put our kids on the right path. But I do firmly believe that the love we have for our kids will do more to put them on that path than anything else.
I need this reminder to step back and just enjoy the moment. There won't be any family vacation this summer, but there still can be weekends to enjoy the sun and the time together.
I have felt it, the very same stumbling feeling. I'm not superwoman though — my kids and I both need to know that. They learn from our stumbles, too — how to apologize, how to be humble, how to love, how to go on and make things better.
Savor your summer with those little ones.
Melissa, just savor the summer….and each one that follows. I have always loved the summertime with my kids, when routines are less structured and ice cream just seems fine for everyday.
The ages your kids are at right now are great, because there are so many things they can both enjoy! Have fun…
My daughters are *almost* raised and we still enjoy summer together although it's in different ways then when they were six and three. This year it's driving lessons for the youngest and hearing crazy stories from the 20 year old about her job at a local country club.
All I know is this rings so true with me, I have those SAME thoughts and fears. I'm going to try and savor this summer too. That is inspiring.
The summer really does seem to have a magical sense to it, doesn't it?
Here's to a great summer with your kids!
Oh Melissa! There will always be reasons for us to question and doubt ourselves and wonder "am I doing this right?" That's one of the reasons why it's best to parent in team. (And I'm well-aware that not everyone has that luxury.) You are so lucky to have a great husband and together, no doubt, you are doing it right! You make up for each others weaknesses, mistakes, inadequacies… And when you doubt yourself your husband can be your mirror and help you to see all the ways you ARE doing it right. (That's what mine helps me to do when I'm feeling insecure!) Your kids are just so blessed to have a mom who *wants* to do it "right". That's when those old mantras need to be recited again… and again… "I am good enough!" and "I'm the best mom for *these* kids!" and "My best is best!" Yeah, yeah, I know positive self-talk can seem so cheesy… but we all need to do it sometimes.
AND we all need to be reassured by those closest to us (like husbands, etc) from time-to-time too. Doesn't make you a weaker mom. Just makes you normal! 😉
You're doing a great job and you're right to try to savor summer. It's those summers that you don't have much going on that you remember as being so perfect. Are you working much?
I am learning daily what I need to learn and how much I need to play.
I hope you have a wonderful summer with your family! I'm trying to savor the moments with my two kids before our baby is born!