“I was just in a bad car accident”
Words you never want to hear out of a loved one’s mouth. It was a Friday afternoon and we had been looking forward to attending a fun concert with the kids. I had just settled the kids in for an afternoon rest before dinner. We were awaiting his arrival.
When I got the phone call, I assumed he was calling to ask if I needed anything on his way home; instead I hear his voice on the other line saying those words.
Immediately I am relieved though because I am hearing his voice. That’s always a good sign.
Then I start in with the investigation. Okay, are you safe? Where are you? Do I need to call an ambulance? How bad is it?
I can tell he is shaken as he tells me he is alright but cannot open his door. The car seems pretty bad. He thinks there’s a CHP officer on his way.
I gather up the kids and head his way.
Big Brother, who had been listening to my end of the conversation, asks with the pure honesty of a child…is Dad going to die?
No, I reassure him. Dad will be okay, he just needs our help.
When I arrive, I see he is right. It was bad. My heart sinks as I help him pull Big Brother and Little Sister’s car seats out of the car…through the back window because the rear doors are too damaged to open. The whole frame of the car is bent and distorted.
Thank God the kids were not back there. That thought has been keeping me up at night in the last few days since the accident. I can’t help but let my mind go there.
I’m thankful that our car was bigger than hers. Otherwise, I cannot bear the thought of what might have happened to my husband. I’m thankful the kids were with me and not him. I’m also thankful that the young lady driving the other car was alright too. She was just as lucky to walk away from that accident.
I’m also a little angry, though I try not to be. Accidents are just that…accidents. But this young lady was clearly not paying attention to the task at hand or else she would not have plowed into my husband on that busy freeway without even braking.
It led me to wonder what WAS she doing? Texting? Chatting on the phone? Daydreaming? Reaching for something?
I honestly don’t know though I have my suspicions.
Believe me, I know how easy it is to get distracted while driving. I have two young children who constantly compete for my attention while I’m driving. They want snacks, books, that doll that fell on the floor…you name it. I have to constantly remind them that I’m driving and cannot do those things.
However, we take what we do for large chunk of our day for granted…driving. As I drove home from work the other day, thinking about my husband and the accident, I saw several people on the phone (not hands free), putting on make-up, or looking at their handheld device. I wanted to shout: please, stop doing that! Pay attention before you kill someone!
See that man in the photo up there? He’s a husband, a father, and a son. I cannot imagine a world without him. Our lives could have been dramatically changed in that instant. Big Brother and Little Sister adore him and their sense of security and self confidence lies largely within him. Being here. Everyday. With us.
I don’t care if you think I’m being melodramatic here. I’m really not. It is that serious.
Please everyone pay attention when you’re driving. Do not text and drive. Do not chat on that cell phone you’re holding next to your ear. The make-up can wait until you arrive safely at your destination. That fallen cookie that your child is begging for can wait too.
As I head out later today to buy new car seats (as you always should after a car accident) that were in my husband’s car (which was totaled by the way), I vow as well to keep my eyes on the road and my hands on the wheel.
So very scary for all of us. It burns me when I see people paying absolutely no attention to the road and those around them.
Thankful that he’s safe…
Thank you Sherri. Me too.
Oh, how terrifying! I’m so glad he is OK. I see this behavior all the time, too, and it makes me crazy. People just don’t think. This is an important reminder. Hopefully, some of the ones who need to hear it, will. HUGS!
Thanks so much and I do hope the message gets out there.
First of all, I am so glad your husband is ok! You are so right it’s so easy to get distracted while driving and of course it’s so easy to hit the gas and speed but it only took a split second before it could turn into a really bad thing. I don’t drive but I’ve been ‘indoctrinated’ by my father about safety driving.
Oh so so so scary. I’m so very glad he was ok.
And you’re right – and I remind myself every day. I even abandon my hands-free device when it’s being temperamental. I don’t have the brain cells to spare.
Thankful that your husband is safe! I wish people who drive would give 100% focus and attention to their task at hand.
So scary, so important. I’m so glad that everything is okay- and that you wrote this.
Oh, Melissa…I am so happy that your husband is safe.
This is such an important message.
One small lapse in judgement can change entire life.
Thank you for raising awareness!
First of all, I am SO glad your husband is okay and was not seriously hurt.
Second, your message here is SO important! I see people talking, eating, doing make up while they drive ALL OF THE TIME.
Everyone needs to read this post as a reminder!
So glad he’s okay, Melissa. I totalled by car with the older two kids in it. I simply did not see a red light. I wasn’t on the phone, I wasn’t texting, I wasn’t talking to my kids.
Accidents are just that, accidents. But my kids still talk about it and I was shaken for a very long time.
A great reminder for everyone.
Wow Cheryl, so glad you and kids are okay. It is traumatic and I know accidents happen even when we’re doing everything right. I’ve certainly had my own close calls. Just SO glad everyone was okay.
So scary, Melissa! I worry about this a lot. My husband often drives home from the studio very late at night when he’s exhausted. I worry about him and other drivers.
I’m so glad he’s ok. Hug your family tight. Xo
I am so glad your husband is okay. Very scary. I think some people just don’t realize the reality of it – especially young drivers. However, I get even more mad when I see grown adults texting while they are driving. I do think more attention should be brought to this. Commercials, public service announcements, etc. People don’t see it. They think they are capable. I have been drilling this into my kids heads since the day they were born and still continue to. I fear the day the drive. I fear them walking down the street as someone could be texting and hit them. It is amazing how many people you see texting while driving. One day I was waiting outside a store on a busy road and started counting. It disgusted me.
I am so relieved to hear he is okay. My husband (then fiance) was in a horrible car accident 3 months before our wedding. Needless to say I was traumatized. But I can’t imagine how much more shaken I’d be if we were parents at the time as well. Thank you for this important reminder of responsibility on the road. Our kids watch how we drive as well and learn some of that responsibility from us too!
Oh my gosh Melissa – I am so glad your husband is okay! Thank you so much for your safe driving reminder. It makes me so darn mad when I see distracted drivers on the road – they are endangering everyone.
Oh my gosh, so glad that he is okay. I can’t imagine what that call must have done to you. I appreciate you sharing your story to remind us all that we need to concentrate while driving.
I am one of those that cannot concentrate cleaning my house while I am on the phone, let alone texting or talking on the phone while driving…so I don’t do it. I have an feature on my phone, that when I get in the truck, I push it, so if I receive any phone calls while driving, it will answer the call saying I am driving, to leave a message, and I will get back to them when I get home.
There is a very graphic youtube video that was made a few months ago, showing a bunch of teenagers in a car, and the driver is texting, and causes a chain reaction car accident, killing many people (including an infant)…of course it was not real, it was an awareness video, but something like that happens everyday. I did show my two teenagers that video, to raise awareness to them that the phone call and/or text can wait to be looked at and answered later. Rather be bluntedly honest with them, than to hide under a rock.
Glad your husband is okay!
I am just relieved that in the end,he is safe and well. I cannot imagine what was going thru Big Brother’s mind to think that his Daddy’s life was in such peril, nor you to have to imagine life without your husband. I hope everyone gets over this trauma soon. We do not realize how fragile life really is. I just thank God that He was watching over him and his family on that Friday. Love you Mija and love to hubs, Big Brother and Little Sister..
Excellent advice! I’m so glad your husband is okay! That is so scary!
Hugs!
I’m very very glad your husband is ok.
And I am a serious driver, taking nothing for granted.
Oh, Melissa — SO glad to hear he’s fine. What a scare. I was hit once with all four boys in the car. We were all fine, but I had many of the emotions you wrote about.
Thanks for the reminder.
Reading this story, brought tears to my eyes. I thank God all involved are safe.
I agree, everyone should pay attention when driving. It is not only your life you save, but others as well.
I too, often see people texting or driving with their phones up to their ears.
Just coming home from work today, I saw a young woman with a phone, up to her ear, she cut someone off and then made a left turn and almost hit another car.
I often wonder, what is so important, that one has to talk on the phone, while driving.
I turn off my phone, or put it on vibrate, so I don’t hear it, or I have pulled off to the side, parked and answered the call.
Rosanna
I am so glad he is ok. As you know I was in an accident this week. And what I thought was a “fender bender” was actually much, much worse. The only reason it seemed minor? My vehicle is one of the highest safety rated vehicles on the market. I walked away with stiffness, soreness, three separate goose eggs on my head (from repeated whacking the back of my head on the headrest), but overall I am lucky. So are the other cars that were involved (4 in total) that I was the first to take the hit. Because my car? Could handle it. In reality it’s almost $10,000 in damage. For just my car alone. I suspect, as you do, that the 28 year old girl that hit me, setting off a chain reaction, was on her phone or distracted by something. Otherwise she wouldn’t have gunned the accelerator in the middle of a busy, bumper to bumper road. Instead I’m statistic. A member of the club of those who have been involved in accidents in the number 1 most dangerous intersection of my town.
I am thankful that your husband is ok. I am thankful that I am ok.
*Side note, I’m annoyed the insurance company won’t replace my car seat, because it was unoccupied and not “physically” damaged. I too know that you should replace them after an accident, but apparently my daughter’s safety doesn’t matter to insurance companies. So sigh…I will pay out of pocket to replace my $300 car seat.
Eileen, I’m SO glad you are okay. I know it is traumatizing. I hope you rested the remainder of the week and weekend. What car do you have by the way? As we are now in the market for a replacement.
How disappointing that the insurance company won’t replace your car seat. So sorry you had to go through that but so glad you are okay. I hope everyone pays better attention when they are driving it only takes seconds of inattention for accidents to happen!
So, so glad that your husband, and your family, is okay after this scary event. It is a powerful reminder, though. I drive 70 miles a day for work and I am scared every day that I get in that car. Life is so fragile and the thought of some careless or inattentive person compromising my family is ever present as I navigate the daily drive. SO many people looking down at their phones these days….something’s got to change…
I know! I worry about you, my husband, anyone driving so much on a daily basis for their daily commute. People take it for granted…don’t realize what is truly at stake.
Glad to hear all is well…how scary!
So glad your husband is physically ok! This post brought tears to my eyes.
I got a similar phone call (all was ok in the end). But, it is earth shattering and feels like the world is just crashing down on you when you get one of those calls.
Best,
Rajka
So glad everyone was alright! So scary!
But also, such a good reminder. I’m generally hands-free when I talk in my car, but I am guilty of occasionally turning off the hands-free so my kids cannot hear a conversation. I really just need to wait!!! This reminds, it is never that important!
Crazy how easy it is to forget. Hearing your story was an important reminder. Thanks!
How scary! I’m so glad your husband it okay. That’s an important reminder for everybody to hear!