Having a big brother must be so amazingly awesome.
I wouldn’t know, I don’t have one.
But Little Sister is super lucky to have the big brother that she does.
Aside from hearing leave me alone, don’t wreck that, or don’t hug me, she gets schooled on how to give the proper apology.
I was privy to this little conversation/argument between Big Brother and Little Sister yesterday morning…
Little Sister, you didn’t say sorry
Oh, SORRY!!!(shouting and a tad sarcastic)
No. You have to look at me.
Ugghhh…okkayyy….sorry. (since I was eavesdropping out of sight, I couldn’t tell if she did, in fact, make eye contact)
I can’t hear you.
Sorry!
Why are you smiling?
I said I’m sorry.
But you don’t mean it.
Okay, Big Brother, I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Yes I am and that’s okay.
Resume playtime as if nothing ever happened.
While I found this interaction quite comical, I was also pretty impressed that they settled whatever argument transpired between them amongst themselves.
Score one for us parents. We’ve been trying to get them to resolve small spats on their own for quite some time now without running to us first.
So aside from that small victory, here are the rules of engagement when it comes to saying I’m sorry, courtesy of Big Brother (age 6.5, almost 7):
1. Make eye contact.
2. Don’t shout, don’t mumble Get the volume just right.
3. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. That popular saying holds true. Even a six year old can spot an insincere apology. So, you really shouldn’t be smiling when you say it.
4. Go above and beyond. Adding an additional sentiment such as, are you okay?, gives you more credibility and makes the other person feel a whole lot better. (Kudos to Little Sister on this one.) I think a hug would have been nice at this point, but I was doing my best to not intervene.
5. Forgive and forget. Once you get a sincere, well executed apology…move on. No sense in wasting precious play time sulking about it.
There you have it, the proper way to give and accept an apology. Life lesson from my six year old.
See? Sibling rivalry does have its perks
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Aww, that’s beyond precious. I don’t know exactly why but I adore listening to my kids teach each other.
With four kids living in my home (my three plus our god-child) we have a strict “Go work it out” policy on most issues. I’m glad to because otherwise I’d spend all of my time settling minor territorial disputes over sections of the couch, game controllers and various toys.
Oh yes, the “territorial disputes”…accounts for most squabbles over here too!
It is cute when they try to explain “the rules” to each other
That’s really cute, and I love that they were able to resolve the conflict on their own. Looks like your work is done here!
Well, at least it was for that moment in time…
Great post! I have even heard of asking your child to ask if they are forgiven.
This is true. They often ask each other now, “do you forgive me?”…and then that sometimes sparks more arguments b/c inevitably the offended will stand his/her ground and not concede so easily!!
They are learning through this process though…sometimes I just have to resist the urge to intervene and let them hash it out