Parenting done “right”…a bitter pill to swallow

So I went to bed angry last night.

Okay, not so much angry as frustrated and sad.

And I really wanted to have it resolved before hitting the sheets, but you know…I was exhausted.

I’m not talking marriage counseling here, though hubs and I were equally frustrated and starting to turn on each other.

I’m talking about parenting.

It’s flippin hard.

I know you know that. It goes without saying. But some days are harder than others. And, on some days, like last night, all you can think is how you really have no idea if what you’re doing is right.

Right.

I despise that word right now. Because in parenting, there really is no right, is there?

There’s I hope, and I think, and I feel.

But no guarantees.

That’s a bitter pill to swallow sometimes when you’re grappling with a particular parenting issue.

Granted, ours was a small one…a resistant sleeper who was trying our very last nerve.

All we wanted was to have one night…one night…to decompress, catch up on Modern Family and Revenge.

But, he needed us. Or did he? It’s hard to tell sometimes. I try to put on my patient, sympathetic hat and really be there for him. To listen and really see him.

Part of me was there for him and the other part wanted to storm out of that room and just be done with it already.

I was vacillating between: am I indulging him, am I doing the right thing, or am I being too harsh?

I’ll never know.

All I have is how I feel in the moment. How I feel is the best way to respond without getting too wrapped up in the emotions of the moment. I don’t ascribe to any specific parenting philosophy because on any given day I’m helicopter, free range, authoritarian, or permissive. It really depends on the situation and which child I’m dealing with.

Aside from always trying to err on the side of empathetic, I often feel like I’m groping in the dark when I’m presented with new parenting dilemmas.

It can be frustrating, demoralizing, and rife with self-doubt to not have the answers. Or, at the very least, some positive feedback in the form of: it may not feel like it, but you did the right thing.

There’s that word again…right…ick.

I once heard (or read) that parents shouldn’t be judged by their children’s actions, they should be judged on how they respond to them. And, I believe this to be very true.

Just as I was beaming with pride the day before when said child demonstrated a great act of kindness, there’s only so much I can take credit for.

I mean, all we really want is to know that our blood, sweat, and tears that we give on a daily basis in this parenting journey will result in happy, healthy, kind, and responsible adults.

But then…there are no guarantees.

Bitter pill.

And that my friends, is what’s altogether exciting, challenging, and downright infuriating about parenting.

Well, today is a new day. My son woke up happy and back to his joke-cracking self.

I had to laugh. At myself, at him…at this whole crazy parenthood thing.

Apparently, being a kid is just as tough as being a parent sometimes.

So, on I will march, knee deep in these parenting trenches…learning, loving, and winging it as I go.

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever heard in regard to parenting? How has it helped you?