A couple of weeks ago, I confessed on facebook how the tooth fairy forgot to visit my son. And, this wasn’t the first time. In all fairness to the hard working tooth fairy, this was Big Brother’s 8th baby tooth to be whisked away in the midnight hours and on that particular night…the tooth fairy slept through her midnight rounds.
I felt horrible, especially since my proud 6 year old had carefully written the tooth fairy a note about his special tooth…the eighth one.
That morning, the mom guilt was winning. So when I posted this as my status:
Sooo…the “Tooth Fairy” forgot to visit Big Brother last night. You know, I never missed a day moving that darn Elf on the Shelf, and THIS I forget!
I was secretly hoping for some moral support.
Well, my facebook family and friends did not disappoint. Within minutes I had other moms commiserating, sharing their tooth fairy blunders, and offering tips on how to cover up my botched job as the tooth fairy.
It felt good.
Knowing that other moms had been there and that they were willing to share tips on how to make it better.
It felt good knowing that in times of certain mom fails, other moms are quick to respond with a “don’t worry, I’ve been there”. Sure this particular mom fail was quite minor in the grand scheme of things, but it got me thinking.
These women were moms who breastfed, moms who bottle fed, moms who work outside the home, stay at home moms, moms who let their kids watch Spongebob, and moms who co-sleep with their children.
The point is…it didn’t matter.
In times when we stumble through parenting, whether it’s forgetting to collect that precious baby tooth, dealing with an epic tantrum in the middle of Target, or wanting to bust out into tears because your child just vomited in the back seat of your car….we’re pretty great at supporting one another.
We could do without the labels and categories that polarize us. We could do without studies and talk shows that seem to incite more mommy wars by trying to determine who actually comes out on top.
Working moms vs. stay at home moms is the topic du jour of the moment.
The truth is, when we study and talk about motherhood in these divisive ways, nobody wins. Not mom, not dad, and certainly not the children.
What we should be talking about are the various ways we handle certain parenting challenges. We ought to speak honestly about our current struggles. We should be sharing how we get through our days without embarrassment or fear of judgement.
Why?
Because that is helpful. That is kind.
And when we support one another by offering kind words of support and solidarity, we are cultivating happiness and diminishing the mom guilt.
So I say, let’s study and talk about how moms all over the world can lead happier and healthier lives regardless of their payroll status.
After all, we are all just part-time tooth fairies, designated vomit catchers, and full time moms…doing our darnedest to stay awake and (mostly) enjoy this crazy journey through motherhood.
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Amen! Great post! Then again, you are preaching to the choir…
I know, I know…thank you for spreading positive vibes and being a safe haven for moms everywhere
Funny, I was thinking about Elizabeth as I was reading this post!
I agree with you Melissa, this is an issue that we need to put to rest. Every mom does whatever is best for her family and her situation. There shouldn’t be any judgement or guilt.
Absolutely!
Oh you made me laugh — my son’s tooth fairy (a.k.a. me) forgot to come once too! I felt awful. Really awful. I think I came up some crazy story about how sometimes lots of kids lose teeth on the same day and that if the tooth fairy is too busy she comes another night. And she did.
That’s what I told my son too…he found a note and an extra dollar later that day. The tooth fairy apologized for being tardy. He was thrilled
Amen, sister! Amen!
Thank you Galit. You are always such a bright light and breath of fresh air
I never understood the rule that Santa, The Tooth Fairy etc had to come while one was sleeping. Do you know what I like to do when my kids go to sleep? SLEEP!! I don’t want to fill their heads with promises that when they slumber the magic happens…they stay awake waiting for the magic and I fall apart.
At our house, 4 kids and 23 years later, I have learned that magic is magic, no matter the hour! sometimes when kids are in the bath, or distracted with Wii or other mindless games that they forget we exist is the best time of the DAY to sneak into a room, grab, drop, and dash. Maybe Santa can leave things under the tree unwrapped and just as magical…it’s all in the presentation anyway. So, Mom’s and Dad’s don’t freak out and loose your minds and much needed sleep. Let the magic flow…whenever, wherever, and however it works. When we grow up and become Mom’s and Dad’s we understand the sacrifice and the commitment and it’s all good.
ps.. Sometimes the Tooth Fairy forgets and the next night she leaves a note that states…”When you BRUSH this tooth…then I will pay for it! I only take clean teeth so start brushing better kiddo!” ; )
Haha! This is true…our sleep and sanity matter too!!
I like the brushing better idea, thanks
I’m really glad you wrote this. I’m one of the “subpar” moms who works outside the home and fed her kids formula. I’m all for live and let live. Motherhood is tough enough without us beating each other up.
Yes…live and let live. Too much to feel guilty about all on our own…we don’t need anyone else pouring it on. BTW…no way are you “subpar”!
I love it! My son had plenty of teeth that it took days (weeks?) for the tooth fairy to show up. We told him she must be on vacation… everyone needs a break, right? Real story: I rarely have cash, so finding coins or a dollar bill was a problem. Also my son would stay up way too late reading, and I’m early to bed, early to rise. I was afraid to go in his room in the morning though and wake him. If he was still up when I went to bed, I would (again) turn off his light and tell him to stop reading, but I couldn’t do fairy duties before turning in myself!
Yeah, it’s hard to stay up sometimes! This past time, the tooth fairy came mid morning while the kids were downstairs playing. She just happened to be a little tardy
Hooray for the end of trumped up battles between different “sub-categories” of mothers.
We are all just people who love our children more than ourselves trying to do our best at the most challenging, important job on earth.
We need support not judgment; comeraderie, not undermining commentary. I applaud your call to unite.
Sign me up. (And I hope you were able to salvage the magic of the tooth fairy a little bit longer…)
“We are all just people who love our children more than ourselves, trying to do our best at the most challenging, important job on earth”. Thank you for that wonderful comment
I was able to salvage the magic. The tooth fairy was late and made her rounds later that day. He discovered it upon helping me make his bed later that day. Yay!
I really think that show segment is beyond lazy.
Nothing to talk about? I know let’s bring people on to name call and fight with each other! LAZY. And not cool.
LOVE this post! Thanks for sharing.