Mommy, how do you spell book?
Okay, b, I got b. Okay o, I got o….she continues until her sentence is complete.
Hey mom, I can spell…m-y, and oh yeah, t-h-e.
Wait, wait…here’s our family. I can spell all of our names.
And mom? Can I go to school every day?
This from a little girl who clung to me at preschool drop off just a short 6 months ago.
It’s amazing to see how’s she’s grown…physically, emotionally, and cognitively since then.
Still, I’ve been torn about kindergarten. My late September birthday girl is incredibly close to that cut-off date that inches closer to September 1st with each passing year. This year? She makes the cutoff and could technically go.
Technically.
And is she ready? Absolutely.
Still, that nagging feeling. It won’t let me sign those kindergarten papers. It prevented me from waking up at 4:30 am to register her and get that coveted morning slot.
I watched her in dance class today. She’s long, lean, and strong. She loves to dance, she loves to make crafts, and as of late…she loves to write and spell.
Of course I worry I’m doing it all wrong. Just let her go. I hear a tiny voice nag at me. Or, it could be my husband whispering in my ear.
But then…I don’t. I can’t.
It doesn’t feel right.
In spite of her tallness, her readiness…her eagerness.
Something is tugging at my heart, gently asking me to be patient. To be still. To listen. To trust.
My instinct I guess.
I’ve been waiting for it to kick in ever since I wrote about this dilemma back in October.
So here it is and this is what we do as mothers right?
We trust it. In spite of the should dos. In spite of the doubt. In spite of the fear.
So, this is what I will do. I will trust. Because even in the face of uncertainty, above the objections, and amid the outside chatter…all I have is this…what makes complete sense to my heart.
My heart.
Why is it so hard for us to trust our instincts sometimes? Are you (or did you) grapple with when to send your child to kindergarten?
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So? Did you let her go?
My son has an October birthday (which makes the decision ‘easier’ in many ways, I guess) but still…
…there were those who insisted that he was ready. That I should advocate (‘argue’ with, *convince* the school) that he was ready.
Except –
– he wasn’t.
So what did I do?
I sent him to private kindergarten. Private where I can control some aspects of the curriculum. Private where I could send him one day…then NOT send him the next if I chose not to. Private where I had a bit more say-so over his involvement in this ‘kindergarten’ than state mandated ‘public’ kindergartens. Private where I had no worries about his ‘academic progress’ and whether or not he sat still, did the work, was ‘immature’…
He red-shirted kindergarten! And it was AWESOME!
And now, he’s in public kindergarten. All day. With homework, and attendance records, and larger class (17 students vs. 12 in private). He will is a more mature (older) kindergartener. Able to be more of a leader, think for himself, and is not as easily influenced by the ‘immature’ behavior of the “5 year olds.” He will graduate high-school at 18 (instead of 17). His early childhood skills (like coloring, writing, reading) are more ‘advanced’ for a (bona-fide) kindergartener, so he’s enjoying more scholastic ‘success.’
And he is HAPPY!
It was a FANTASTIC decision!
We’re waiting. She will be going to a private kindergarten program too, for all the reasons you mentioned plus we still don’t have full day kinder over here. I’m happy with this decision and think it will be best in the long run. Thanks, Myiesha for sharing your experience. It helps to hear. She’ll have that extra time…I was just not comfortable with her being the youngest.
We live in Massachusetts and the cut off here is 5 by August 31st. My oldest is going to K in Sept. He turns 5 March 4th. When my husband and I were kids the cut off was December. He is an October baby and he graduated at 17. My brother was born Sept 5th. He would have missed the cut off too. I was born in February and are a year older than my brother. In the end I stayed back in 3rd grade, and my brother and I graduated High School together. It is so hard to decide especially when you think your child may be ready.
Oh how I can relate! In Michigan, the Kdg cut off is Dec. 1. Our boy/girl twins were to turn 5 on Nov. 25. Old enough to start Kdg this year but just soooo close to that deadline. Many urged us to start them this year saying they were more than ready but my gut instinct was to wait. They’d been preemies – if they’d been born on their due date – they’d have had to wait the year anyways (heck if they’d even been born a week later, they’d have had to wait…). Despite pressure from others and the principal, we pushed for Developmental Kdg – a year to acclimate to school and big changes – and then do regular Kdg next year.
The year started well and we felt great about our decision, until the DK teacher said they were doing SO good, she wanted to push them up into regular Kdg. But this didn’t come up until almost November! Much too late in our books to make a move. Thankfully the social worker and principal agreed a move at that point wasn’t in anyone’s best interest and sided with us to stay put in Kdg. I was glad to hear they were doing well but wasn’t about to go back against everything we’d decided upon for this year.
So they are still in DK and will move up to regular Kdg next year. I know in the long run it was best and I’m so glad we stuck with the decision!
So glad you advocated for them and kept them in DK. You’re right, at that point it seems that move would have been too much to contend with.
Awesome to hear that you’re happy with your decision. I think I will be too, even if right now it seems like forever until she starts kinder!
i really don’t have a choice since my two youngest kiddos will miss the deadline by about 2 weeks….but i know that even if they were right at it, i would most likely wait another year. you see, i am an elementary media specialist. at the beginning of each year, i can usually pick out the kids who were right at the cutoff. it’s often hard on them. they are 4 years old and are being expected to behave and perform at the same level of 5 and almost 6 year olds. now i’m not saying that some children can’t handle it….because some of them can. i’ve been surprised at a few of my students who have turned out to be one of the “young’uns” and are doing VERY well. it’s absolutely up to the parents to know their children and make an informed decision on whether or not they’re ready!
Thank you Alison for adding your unique perspective. I think what sealed it for me, was talking to my son’s previous Kinder teacher. She pretty much echoed what you said and honestly, I just didn’t want her to be at a disadvantage simply because of her age. I’m happy waiting and I think in the long run, it will be great (crossing my fingers)!
I didn’t send Liam to preschool this year for this very reason. He’s smart, counts to 100 at age 3, and is learning addition. But it just didn’t seem right. He kept looking at me with his arresting eyes and saying, “I’m not ready”.
Extra time never hurts…once they start, you can’t get it back. Your instinct is spot on, no matter what anyone else says.
Thank you, Katie. It helps to hear that. I’m so glad you’re giving your little one some extra time too
Trust your instinct mom. Based on my schooling experience and observation of my classmates, I think that kids are better off being the oldest ones among their peers than being the youngest. And truth is once this decision is taken by parents, it affects the kids all the way to college. The youngest girls in my 7th grade class were unable to interact equally with the rest of the class because they were too immature (9 years old versus our 11 years old. This is in Nigeria). I was in college with a few of them, and they were never able to shake this off.
The Crazies were born 12 days before the cutoff. If I send them on time, not only will they be seventeen when I send them to college (YIKES!!!), but they’ll also forever be the smallest kids in the class. We’re waiting. I’m looking into several different programs for their “bridge year” as I don’t want them to get bored with preschool. Also, I do believe that my daughter would be ready (maturity wise), but that my son would struggle and I just can’t have that. I’m glad you’re trusting your instinct, but there are always questions lingering…
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