Sibling rivalry is pretty much par for the course when you have more than one child. Tug of wars over beloved toys, arguments over whose turn it is to pick the flick for movie night, and stepping on each other’s words (as they call it) at the dinner table.
It’s inevitable. A parental rite of passage. One that most of us hope end in our children truly being there for each other when it counts.
Honestly, I was beginning to lose hope. I wasn’t sure my 4 and 7 year old were destined to be friends. I’ve heeded the advice; let them work it out, don’t compare, encourage them to use their words, and create situations where they will have to work together.
Still, not a day goes by without a “Mommm!! Big Brother is copying me” or “Mommm, Little Sister threw my Lego truck on the floor”.
Siblings. Apparently, they were created to tease, annoy, and torture.
But then…a glimmer of hope.
The other day, after work for me, school for them, and swim practice for Big Brother, we were finally headed home. We were all exhausted and my patience, like clock-work, was wearing too thin just when I needed it the most.
The whining starts. Little Sister is begging for the lollipop that she saw in my purse. Now and why not she wants to know? I’ve already explained (oh about 10 times at this point) that we’ll be eating dinner in the very near future and that lollipop is not on the menu.
The whining continues. My patience is nowhere to be found.
I finally blurt out…please, just stop already!
Big Brother chimes in with, Mom…just let her get it out. She needs to let it out.
I could have snapped, but he was right; and way wise beyond his tender 7 years.
I wasn’t listening to Little Sister and even her Big Brother could see that. The whining almost immediately stopped as I admitted he was right and that I was sorry.
Go ahead and let it out Little Sister.
And, that’s the thing, once I heard her and gave her permission; she no longer wanted that lollipop.
So, I’m not so worried about them anymore. These two siblings who just that very morning were annoying each other to no end at the breakfast table by repeating what the other was saying. In a very provoking and taunting way.
When it counts, they’ve got each others’ backs.
Yup, the kids are going to be all right.
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As an only child this is one thing I never understood but truly wanted my kiddos to get over. Now as teenagers they battle much less and as you mentioned, have each other’s backs. So much nicer! Hope all is well with you and the fam Melissa!
I like the thought that my kids will get along better as teens…one huge positive right? We’re doing great. How about you?
Hanging in there! Trying to get back on the blogging track!
“When it counts, they’ve got each others’ backs.”
You are SO right. When they are in a new/strange place (birthday party of a school “friend,” for instance), or out in the open at a water park ‘playground’…the love and support peeks through. The *protection* of Big Sister and the and the resultant *security* Little Brother feels knowing his Big Sister is not far away is obvious.
Little Brother actually defers to Big Sister (and follows her instructions without a fight in these circumstances).
***
I often think about a time about 18 months ago. We were at the local rec center water slide/park/thingie. Big Sister and Little Brother were running thru sprinklers as I sat back on a lounge chair with sun-glasses on disguising my fixation on the kids…as I sat back appearing to be a “cool” mom reading a magazine(no helicopter parenting here…not!)
And I saw it happen. Little brother was running, eyes closed, laughing, sprinting thru the sprinkler when all of a sudden another (bigger) kid started running thru the sprinkler in the opposite direction. They crashed into each other. And my little guy…was on the ground…crying.
I (casually) jumped up…and walked (almost ran) over to the edge of the water playground.
Before I was halfway there, Big Sister noticed him too…so I slowed my paced to watch. She looked at him, looked from side to side…took two steps towards him…and stopped…
(Maybe contemplating whether or not to actually help; checking to see if anyone else cared enough to intervene? I don’t know).
…then she ran over to him. Gave the big boy who crashed into her little brother a scowl. Bent down to check on Little Brother…and tried to pull him up.
“C’mon, get up” she pleaded. “You’re okay” – as her eyes searched for me.
By then…I was there.
And I was proud.
And I knew that LOVE overshadows sibling rivalry when it matters most
That is such a wonderful story Myiesha. Especially that you held back and to see what they would do with each other. It’s a good reminder for me. To not rush to their aid all the time and see if they can help each other without me always coming to the rescue. Love this. I’m going to remember it. Good job, Big Sister!!
Oh my, Melissa. This? Is beautiful.
A perfect sibling moment captured, created by your mothering.
Perfection.
Oh Galit, thank you. Though at the time I felt like a very bad mother. Scolding my daughter for whining, so much so, that my son had to come to her defense. Anyway, I was touched by the moment. It instantly melted my sour mood and Little Sister’s too
XO
Really looking forward to meeting you at LTYM rehearsals!
Congratulations on making the show.
This is beautiful. Just beautiful. Thank you for making me smile.