Stranger Safety and Doing Our Best

I cannot deny what has been foremost on my mind throughout the day, and now, during this late hour, when I mean to be sleeping.

I am thinking about this poor child in New York. The one abducted and killed by a stranger. It’s horrific, tragic, and heart wrenching. It makes me think of my own son, who is 6 and eager to explore the world.

I know parents across America are feeling the same. We gasp in disbelief. We’re full of sorrow. We’re full of worry.

We worry that in spite of our best intentions and safety precautions…there are no guarantees. It’s the terrible and heartbreaking truth of parenthood. All we can ever really do is our best. The rest is tied up in our hopes and prayers each and every day that we send our children out into the world.

At the end of this long day, a day which I spent away from my children; I realized that I cannot live in fear, nor do I want my children to. In spite of this horrendous tragedy and others like them, I truly believe that most people are generally kind. Unfortunately, “bad” and evil exist too. It’s this harsh reality that’s more difficult to explain to our children.

As I read books, sang songs, and cuddled my children during their bedtime routine, I lingered a bit longer, thinking how precious and valuable this time with them is. As they giggled, I was a bit more somber, imagining how completely and utterly devastated I would be in the face of such a tragedy.

That moment caused me to make a mental note to revisit our stranger safety rules with them. Not because I’m certain that by doing so, my children will ultimately be protected from all evil in the world. I do it because right now, it’s really all I can do.

Please take the time to review these important stranger safety tips with your children. Revisit them often. Tempted as we may be to shelter them forever, we know that we can’t. Send them out into the great big world with confidence, arm them with information and these vital safety rules to live by.

Stranger Safety Tips: (Click here to see my video on stranger safety via KCRA My 58)

• Define 3-4 “safe” adults for your child (i.e. mom, dad, grandma). These are the only people your child is ever allowed to go anywhere with. No exceptions unless she has your direct (face to face) permission to do so.
• Define “kind of knows” to your children (i.e. coaches, teachers, parents of their friends). These people are clearly not strangers, however, they are not on your child’s “safe” adult list so the same rule applies: should never go anywhere with a “kind of know” unless they have your direct permission.
• Remind your children to keep a safe distance from cars and strangers. Never approach a car with a stranger inside. No matter what.
• Stress to your child that though a stranger may “look” nice, there really is no way of knowing. So unless mom or dad are around, keep your distance and don’t talk to strangers.
• Safety in numbers: advise your children to never go anywhere alone. This is especially true for public restrooms, parks, walking home, etc. Bring a friend or two.
• Give them permission to yell, scream, run, kick, whatever they need to do if they ever feel threatened.
• Introduce the concept of trusting their gut. If something doesn’t feel right. Get out and get safe.
• Make sure you and your child have a plan should you ever become separated in a store or elsewhere. In general, remind them to stay put. You would never leave without them.
• Be sure your child learns his address, phone number, and your cell number.
• Watch The Safe Side DVD with your child and visit the website. It is truly excellent.

*Remember the goal is not to completely frighten your child (although I am a firm believer in a healthy dose of fear). The goal is to empower them so that they can enjoy and explore the world with confidence *

What are your thoughts on teaching stranger safety and have you discussed this with your child?